Why and when did I decide to enter a body building contest?

Prior to my cancer diagnosis, I had been feeling the some of the burden of middle age.  It felt like my life was built on all of my RESPONSIBILITIES.  I was a wife, mother, home-maker, professional, and the spouse of a pastor. These are all wonderful things, but they all involve commitment and effort.  They also felt pretty predictable.  I was ready to have a new challenge; something personal, youthful and that would take people by surprise a bit. While I was very fit and healthy, most people would not have expected me to pose on stage in a glitter bikini and four-inch heels. It felt fun to take a risk and do something unpredictable.

At the start, I was pretty sure that I had the build and self-discipline to train for a body building competition.  Working out with Domenick and John every Monday and Wednesday was also very motivating.  I mentioned the idea to them one day and they were both immediate and sincere in telling me that they thought I had the potential to do it if I wanted to.

In early March (just before my cancer diagnosis), I was still debating whether or not to set this goal for myself.  After receiving my diagnosis, something changed for me and I knew I wanted to train and compete as a body builder.  Why?

First, it was something positive to look forward to and work toward during my cancer treatment.  Over 13 months, I had 4 surgeries (the last one will happen next week, June 4, 2010), 18 weeks of chemotherapy and 6 weeks of radiation.  It is a test of endurance, like running a marathon.  Often when I was feeling tired and sick, I would read about body building and imagine how great it would feel to walk across a stage in a beautiful, healthy, fit body.  My good friend and former student, Jason Kilderry, is a triathlete with an amazing story of his own.  After losing both kidneys and receiving a kidney transplant, Jason is preparing to hike the Appalachian Trail.  He was an inspiration to me as I faced my trial.  He says that thinking about and planning for his Trail hike kept him going through his low points during dialysis and surgery.  I understand that exactly, now.

Second, it is a symbol of my victory over cancer.  I've noticed that cancer has a way of aging people, both mentally and physically.  They can become less active, enjoy fewer things in life and seem to age more quickly.  A year of cancer treatment can appear to make a person seem five years older, from what I have observed.  I took it on as a personal challenge to not let this happen to me.  I was determined to remain active, to workout on a daily basis, eat very healthful foods,  take care of myself and enjoy my life through cancer treatment and beyond.  The idea of emerging from over a year of cancer treatment and entering a body building competition   was the perfect challenge for me.